Modern Day Pilgrim: New Territory

I used to believe that as long as God called me to do something, I could do it. I did not need help or blessing from man if I had God on my side. While it is true that the power of God and His will for my life far supersede any blessing I could receive from man, there is a reason He chooses to involve other people in my journey of preparation as I set out to fulfill the destiny He has set before me. He knows that I need people around me. There are those He has brought into my life as a source of support and there are those He desires to use to impart something into my life I would otherwise be lacking.

This gift of impartation is what I find myself seeking on this part of my journey. After God called me, I spent eight long years in the desert being prepared by the Spirit. Now, I have stepped into entirely unfamiliar territory. I thought that when the desert season came to a close, He would launch me into my ministry and I would hit the ground running. However, there seems to be another stop to make.

When we were preparing to leave Medicine Hat, we did everything we could think of to make the transition a smooth one. We have never moved our family out of the city before and we were already overwhelmed by the task. Knowing that we were going to a city with a higher cost of living, Shane and I decided I would go back to work. We both found good jobs and we thought that it would be no problem for us to find a place to live and move forward with our lives. God had a better idea.

The path we were on led us to move in with some friends. At the time, I was confused and discouraged. Why was this necessary? We were finally in a position where money was not going to be an issue. Why couldn’t we just find a home of our own and be on our way?

I got my answer within a week of moving. I was unable to find childcare for before and after school. No matter what we did to try and sort it out, it was not going to work. I had to decline my job. Now we are back down to one income and what Shane makes is just what we need to afford to live where we are right now.

Once again, I hit my knees. I was full of questions, but I knew that God had brought us this far. He was not going to leave this unfinished. There was purpose behind what appeared to be chaos.

Why couldn’t God make the details work so I could work? Why is ninety percent of what we own in storage? Why am I home when I could be working? The answer is one that I am still surprised by. Although I only see in part, I can see enough to know how amazing God’s plans have been from the beginning. How He has orchestrated every single detail from the moment He called us to leave Medicine Hat. Never, in all my years of following Him, have I seen His hand so obviously upon the course of my life.

He brought this all together so He could send us to receive. The next few months will have us traveling as we seek out the impartation He has for us so that we can come back here and pour out into our city and nation that which He has so generously poured into us. I do not know all the places we will be going yet. I do know this: if we had not experienced what seemed to be one disappointment after another, we would not be ready to go where He is preparing to send us. I welcome your prayers during this time as we are going somewhere in the Spirit we have never been before.

Join me as I set out on a modern day pilgrimage…

Modern Day Pilgrim: The Longing

 

A year and a half ago I grew dissatisfied with life as I knew it. For eight years I had been preaching and teaching the Word. I witnessed people experience breakthrough as the truth penetrated their hearts and Jesus set them free. I had received a great deal of deliverance myself. I knew that He was faithful to heal and restore. I believed that His power was available to all who would seek Him with all their hearts. I trusted that the God of Acts was still alive and well, desiring to pour out His Spirit on a church that longs for Him.

But what I read in the pages of the Bible and what I knew to be true in my own life were worlds apart. I had only glimpsed His presence and power. I wanted so much more. There was nothing I desired more than to fulfill the calling God had placed on my life, but I wanted to do it with power. I didn’t just want to preach a sermon, I wanted to carry an anointing that would break the yoke of bondage off of the lives of everyone it came into contact with. When people left the room, I wanted them not to remember who I was or how good the message was, but how powerful their encounter with God had been. I longed to be a vessel through which His power could freely flow. Signs and wonders were something I had only ever read about, but I began to wonder if it was possible that God would use me in that way. Before then, I was always happy just to teach and preach. Not knowing what else to do with this brand new stirring in my Spirit, I began to pray.

I prayed for the Holy Spirit to begin to break down the walls that stood in the way of the fullness of what He wanted to release in and through me. The church I was raised up in was not one who walked in these things, so I was in unfamiliar territory. At times, I did not even know how to pray. Often, I doubted that there would ever come a day when I would see my hearts desire come to pass. My mind battled against what my Spirit knew to be true. Religious mind sets were almost overwhelming but I refused to give up until I began to see what I now believe to be an invitation and promise from the Father. I knew that if I would press in, I would see it one day.

Since that time a year and a half ago, I have seen in small part what I have been seeking. These are the days of small beginnings in this new dimension of my calling. I am still learning, seeking and growing but God is taking me on a journey to go as deep into the things of the Spirit as I am willing to be led.

It was, to a certain extent, this desire that led our family to leave Medicine Hat. The more we prayed for God to release His anointing, the more He began to lead us places we have never been before. It has been one step at a time and I am still not able to answer many of the questions that surround this season of our lives.

I came to this new city believing that our future was planned out. Once I got here, I saw that the direction He has in mind is much different than the direction we thought we were heading. We thought we were coming to settle in a new land. However, God continues to whisper in our ears: this is your pilgrimage…

Hunger Calls for Action

Today’s guest post was written by my good friend Sarah Schnell. Sarah is an example to me of a heart and life lived purely for the glory of God and the pursuit of His presence. She is an inspiration to me to refuse to settle for less than everything He is.

We live in a time and society that is known and prided for its busyness. Everywhere we turn there are any number of distractions and diversions to choose from. There are screens of varying sizes that each offer all sorts of entertainment and ideas. The message behind it all is the same- “you’re missing something, and this is going to make you happy.” We all can relate to feeling as though there must be something else. We can have all our ‘stuff’ and still at the end of the day feel an unexplainable emptiness and sadness.
Jesus said he was the one way, truth, and life. It is only through communion with the Holy Spirit and in relationship with Jesus that we can experience the fullness that life has to offer us. Jesus himself stands in the throne room of heaven and intercedes on our behalf. He prays to the God in Heaven for us to see His glory and to know His love for us.
It can be hard to put away the things that we find enjoyment in when we know God has asked us to do so. On their own, some things in themselves may not even be classified as “sin”, but in the reality of our daily life they serve as idols and distractions that take our focus away from the God who created us to worship Him. We were created not just to have love lavished over us, but lavish love on the man that offered his very life to save our souls. This is why, when all is said and done, we still feel unfulfilled. God did not intend for us to spend our days scrolling through Facebook and Pinterest; or with video games, mindless television or endless material things. He desires for us to live in community with Him and each other, expressing love for each other in the unique ways he gave each of us to minister to one another. Most importantly, he created us to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.
Jesus said in Revelation 3 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me. “
He’s knocking at the door and He wants us to let him in. He will NOT force his way in. We must CHOOSE to open the door and invite him in. There have been many times in my life when I have refused to allow him entry into particular areas of my life because I thought they were working for me. But when I chose Jesus as my savior, I invited him to transform my life into something of worth and beauty. He asked me to let go of many things that I thought were making me happier. It wasn’t an easy process to go through as I began trying to truly put those things down.
In order for a change to happen, sometimes there is a process of pruning and shaping. Anyone who has ever played with Play-Doh knows that to make something, the dough is squeezed, and pushed, and pressed, and trimmed. God desires to transform our lives. He never said it would be easy. In fact, Jesus told us in Luke 9:23 to count the cost of following him before we actually committed to it. If we truly desire for Jesus to ‘have his way with our lives, we need to let go of those things he is convicting us to let go of. They are the things we have put in front of the door blocking the way. We must choose to set them aside and out of the way if we are going to truly allow him entry into our hearts.
Jesus asked for ALL of us not just a part. Every decision should be made WITH Him. The rewards are beyond the pleasures the things of the world could ever begin to offer us. I let go of the things I knew God was calling me to let go of because I recognized the higher standard he was asking me to set to be a living testimony of His Love and Grace. I have never looked back. I want Jesus more than I want any of those things. Every time I choose Him, he reveals more of His character to me. I have found more peace and freedom than I ever thought I deserved or could dream of finding.
If you’re hungry for something, if you’re longing to break free of the chains that have you bound, turn to Him and the veil will be removed and you too can experience the true Freedom and Joy that only comes from the one who made you.

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Lesser Things

Sacrifice is not a four letter word. Releasing something for the sake of obedience to God is a practice that has grown almost foreign to Christians today. Our mindset is one that says “I know that if I give this to God, He will give me something better in return” or “I live by grace and I follow a God who wants me to be happy and have the things I want to have”.

We have forgotten that the one thing God desires for us to have above all else is Him. To be one who truly burns from the inside out with passion and zeal for God, there will inevitably come a point at which you will have to make sacrifices. If you choose to listen and respond to the promptings of Holy Spirit, He will put His finger on those things that are standing between your heart and His.

We have already talked about sin. An unconfessed sin is like poison to your very life. An unrepentant heart is one that is far from God and cut off from the flow of blessing He offers. But this is not as much about obvious sin as it is about addressing the lesser seen areas of your heart, mind and life that you have not yet brought into complete submission to the Father.

How are you spending your time? Great revivals come as a result of time being poured into the practices of prayer and worship. There is no way to eliminate the element of devoted time and still reap the results you desire. If you long to be on fire, prioritize your time. If you claim there is nothing more important to you than to draw closer to Him and to be renewed in the things of the Spirit, your schedule will reflect that. I have heard (and made) every excuse in the book for why this is not possible but the truth is that there is always time somewhere. Watch less TV. Get up half an hour earlier. Do what you need to do to reconcile what you claim to want and what you are willing to do to get it.

Are you settling for lesser things while God is offering the best things? I used to think Christianity was so boring. Why would I want to give up fun to go to church and spend my time around stuffy people who had no idea how to have a good time? However, my idea of fun came nowhere near the true pleasure offered by the Father. To walk the line of compromise so you can still enjoy life is to assume that what you have been offered by God is somehow less than what the world has to offer. There is nothing wrong with having fun but if yo have to compromise to do it, it is time to seek a revelation of true pleasure.

What are you setting before your eyes and allowing into your mind? I am not one who believes entertainment is wrong. I do not see movies or television as sinful. That does not mean that hours and hours spent in front of the TV is a wise use of the time we have been given. When you give more time and attention to the TV than you do to the Bible, you are choosing how you want to be indoctrinated. No matter how careful you are about what you watch, you are still absorbing that which is contradictory to the life you have been called to live. If you find yourself getting lazy and compromising your convictions, it is probably time to check what you have been taking in and how it is affecting your heart and mind.

We are called to great things. Unfortunately, many of us will choose the lesser things and miss out on what God desires to do. The choice is yours today: are you willing to sacrifice the lesser things to have the fullness of the things of God?

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Being a Burning One

Today’s post was written by Christelle Baldovinos, Director of Global Prayer House in Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada. Christelle truly lives her life as a desperate pursuit of the presence of God. To learn more about the work Christelle and her husband Antonio are doing in Medicine Hat, click here.

As I think about revival I think it is important to know what revival really is. A true revival first starts with the heart and as the famous reformer Charles Finney put it, “revival is nothing else than a new beginning of obedience to God.” That sums up revival on an individual level. Any great revival in history began with its start in the prayer closet of a desperate and hungry person who renewed their resolve to love God through obedience to God with everything. If you take any time to study the greats of history it will not take long to see that one desperate, hungry person for God can change history.
Evan Roberts, the famous Welsh revivalist is one such example. Evan, even as a young boy spent many hours in prayer and was recorded as being taken to heaven each morning from 1:00-5:00 am for six months. Evan had such a fire and separation on his life, that conviction and healing followed him and soon an awakening swept the nation.
To be a vessel that funnels revival we must first be awakened ourselves. Once a person is awakened, our lives will bring such conviction of sin and hunger for the fire of God that you cannot help, but be contagious to those around you. I long to see more than revival, but a corporate awakening that is accompanied with signs, wonders, healings, repentance, brokenness, and a sweep of souls into the kingdom of God. Revival is so much more than extended meetings or lively preaching, but an awakening of hearts to God to the point where nothing else matters, but Him. We are willing to really totally surrender and lay it all down for the sake of knowing Him and burning for Him.
The first and second Great Awakenings are marked with such a spirit. These awakenings are the closest thing that has happened, to what I believe we will see in the future. If we look at Acts 2, we can see how they gathered, they prayed, they waited with expectation, they were set apart. They laid down their schedules, their lives for days, just to wait on God and have an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. This was the start of the church and this is only a foretaste of what is yet to come.
Many say they want “revival”, but the real question is, “are we ready”? This is something I have been asking myself. I believe that if we get to a place where we are consumed with love and just “gotta have Him” and nothing else matters, we will begin to do desperate things. Like spend long hours in prayer, the Word, wail, weep, groan for souls and lives of others all around us. We will grieve over our own sin and contend for complacency to be lifted off of the church.
My husband and I had been in ministry doing evangelism, for over 10 years, seeing thousands come to Christ, when God jolted our heart and life. You see we were asleep. Sure, we did great things for God, but we began to lose sight of the reason we first began, our first love. God in His great mercy brought healing, forgiveness and awakening to our cold, dull hearts. His kindness brought us to repentance and what has followed has been what I call, “holy dissatisfaction”. It has been this dissatisfaction that has caused us to go hard after God even in our weakness. We have determined to give Him our all and nothing less. Nothing matters and nothing satisfies other than Him. We search to feel the deep longings in our heart for significance, fascination, greatness and love. The only place we can ever fill these voids is with God Himself. Once we get to place that we see our own bankruptcy and lean into Him, than our dreams begin to be His dreams. Our longings begin to be satisfied in Him and yet we are thirsty for more. So many talk of their dreams, their goals, their desires. My heart cry is to see a church arise whose dreams and desires are to fulfill and find out God’s dreams. When our dream becomes His and we pursue it, He will fuel us and help us. But we must “know” Him, take the time to have intimacy with our God.
I believe a God dream is revival. God wants to pour out His spirit far more than we want it. He is waiting for a bride to rise up from the ashes of their own life, walk in humility and poorness of spirit (recognizing their need for God) and say yes Lord! I will do what you ask, I will intercede, I will seek your face, I will say no to sin by your grace and give my life for the sake of knowing you and until awakening comes, I will be a living example of revival.

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A Word to Open the Heavens

One word from God can change the course of your life forever. It may come to you through a single verse that comes to life and lights up your heart at just the right time, a word spoken by another in due season, or the still small voice of Holy Spirit. When God speaks, the heavens open.

The heavens opened over Joseph when God spoke to him in a dream about how he would one day rule a nation.

The heavens opened over Moses when God spoke to him through a burning bush and called him to lead the Israelites out of slavery.

The heavens opened over David when God chose him over his more qualified brothers and had him anointed by Saul in their presence.

The heavens opened over Mary when God sent an angel to tell her that she would bear the Savior of the world.

The heavens opened over Paul when Jesus met him on the road to Damascus and convicted him of his sin.

The heavens opened over John when Holy Spirit gave him the book of Revelation.

Do you need an open heaven today? Then the time has come to seek God for your word. It is only through the power of Holy Spirit that you will begin to burn with desire to see His will accomplished in and through you. It is only through His revelation that your life will be everything He designed it to be. It is only through His direction that you will be able to walk the path you were created to walk.

Stop trying to find the path on your own. Stop stumbling and grappling through the dark. There is no need to frustrate yourself trying to make your life count. Get a word.

When God speaks you will be released into the purpose that has been in your heart all along but has yet to be walked out in fullness. His word, spoken in His time, to accomplish His purposes will forever change the course of history both for you and for everyone you are called to reach..

This weekend, spend some time seeking the Word of the Lord.

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Where’s the Shortcut?

Trials produce perseverance. Despite the pain they often cause, trials have immeasurable value when it comes to growing into the person you are destined to become. There are no short cuts to true spiritual maturity for God knows that it is only by walking through the fire, one step at a time, that the worthlessness of the world will be burned away.

Knowing that does not necessarily change the way we see trials in life or the way we approach them. Sometimes, knowing that good will come from what we are going through is not enough to keep us there. We get uncomfortable and we hide. We run. We deny. We escape. We do whatever we can think of to avoid the pain. Then, when we emerge from hiding, we are no further along than we were when we started and we have not allowed the trial to serve the purpose God had for it.

So, if knowing that you are developing perseverance in the storm does not help you see the hope in the depth of the pain, consider that you are also on the path to personal revival and awakening. If you are anything like me, you would love to be able to fly past the painful part right into the season of new life. But the old must pass away before the new can be born.

Allow the sickness in your family to rid you of your tendency to blame God and lean on your own self sufficiency. If you will be open to the work of Holy Spirit, He will create in you complete dependence on and faith in God.

Do not grow discouraged by the loved one you are praying for who seems to walk further and further away from God. Allow your desire to see them come to know Him to drive you to your knees in desperation and renewed hope when it would be easier to quit.

Allow a bleak financial situation to open your eyes to the truth: He is your provider. Look not to what you can do on your own, but to what He has given you and what He is able to do in, for and through you.

A difficult marriage is not an excuse to give up and walk out. You have been given an opportunity, through the power of Holy Spirit, to relinquish your rights and demonstrate a selfless love so rarely seen in marriage today. He can breathe new life into a dead and barren relationship.

In the midst of your crisis, take a step back, breathe and see it for what it really is: an invitation to come up higher in your relationship with God and to dive down deeper into the knowledge of Him.

There is only one way to get there. You can not go over, under or around. You must go through.

 

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I Used to Be a Hater

I used to hate the church. Not just the way other people dislike the church. I REALLY used to hate it. I was so offended and so hurt by the people in that place that for eight years, I refused to even walk through the doors. Then, once I did, it happened again and, as a new believer, I found myself so bitter and angry toward what I thought was supposed to be the body of Christ that I ran as far as I could for another year.

Denomination made no difference. What they claimed to believe was irrelevant. They may have appeared on the surface of things to be completely wonderful, accepting, loving people. I knew better. The church was full of hypocrites and critics. Their only motivation to get to know me was to possess the ammunition to tear me down.

I would listen to Christians talk about how, as the Body, we were called to stick together. To build one another up. To grow in love and unity. To be His hands and feet. They said those words with their mouth, but with their actions they told me time and time again that I just did not quite make the cut.

I was broken and struggling, but I still longed for relationship with other believers. I longed for a connection with someone who understood the most important priority in my life and would spur me toward wholehearted pursuit of the things of God. Rejection had driven me away and yet I knew God had created me for community.

Over time, God healed and I was able to walk back into the church again. Little by little, He restored my heart and tore down my carefully constructed defenses. I still lacked close friendships but I was able to connect on some level.

It took years of trusting Him and opening myself up to the possibility of further rejection and condemnation, but I am now beginning to build real friendships with people who accept me for who I am and yet encourage me to grow into who I am destined to become.

I thought transparency would expose my weakness and make me easy prey. Instead, by trusting people with the truth of who I am, I am becoming stronger and closer to God.

Iron really does sharpen iron. All those years of trying to struggle through on my own proved fruitless because I was never meant to go it alone.

Have you been hurt by the church? Do you believe you can live the life God is calling you to on your own? Do you resist true transparency in relationship? Without a choice to be one in heart and mind with the rest of the Body, we will never see God move the way we desire Him to.

It will be difficult, but I encourage you today to allow Holy Spirit to begin to take down your walls.

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I Just Don’t Want To!

Revival starts in me. That much I know to be true. I understand that if I desire to see a great move of God in my nation, I must seek Him in my own life first. I must be willing to rid myself of everything that would set itself up against the work He longs to do and be willing to surrender all I am and all I have to pursue Him. Nothing held back.

But sometimes I just don’t want to. Like today. Today I am tired and weary and discouraged. My soul has grown listless in the battle and my flesh is screaming to me to give in and give up. I am tempted to do exactly that. To take just a few days and quit contending. Quit pursuing. Quit seeking. Quit hoping. Quit believing. Quit trusting. Just quit.

Is the fight really worth it after all? Would I really be missing out on much if I chose to be happy with the amount of God I have now and stopped pressing in for more of Him?

Is lukewarm alright once in a while?

I would certainly like to think so on days like today.

Then I am reminded of David. David who, like me, was faced with the drudgery and difficulty of daily life in the midst of a relationship with a phenomenal God. David, who was faced with seemingly insurmountable circumstances. David, who was a man after God’s own heart and yet felt far from and forsaken by Him.

Knowing God did not exclude David from the struggles of humanity. He still felt alone, rejected, fearful and hopeless at times. He was powerful and anointed and yet He struggled. He had seen God move mightily countless times and yet he grew discouraged. Throughout the Psalms, I hear David expressing the pain of his heart.

And then I hear him talk to himself. Why are you downcast, my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God. Praise Him. Remember what He has done and who He is. Rise up!

In my own soul, the battle begins again. My spirit is stirring, reminding me never to give in. Never forget. Never relent. Press in! Rise up! Your breakthrough is coming! And I start talking to myself.

I remind myself of what He has done. I recall how far he has brought me. I praise Him because He is faithful. I thank Him because His works are wonderful. I place my hope in Him because He is worthy.

I engage in battle because the spoils are of infinite worth.

Weary of the fight today? Start talking to yourself.

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Obscure and Unexpected

Do you still feel like you are fighting a losing battle? Have you tried everything you know of to break the hindrances off your life only to find yourself more bound? A few weeks ago, someone asked me how to stop the cycle of sin and addiction in their life and I did not have the answer. I still don’t.

How God delivered me will likely be very different from how He will deliver you. However, one thing remains true: God is the same yesterday, today and forever. His promises of freedom and wholeness are for all who call on the name of Jesus. There are no second class citizens in the Kingdom of God.

So, why do some walk in freedom while others spend their whole life struggling?Revelation concerning what hinders you is personal. The Word provides us with amazing guidance, direction and truth but it is our responsibility to use what we have been given to find victory over what has enslaved us.

The easy thing, often times, is to open the Word and read the scriptures that we know pertain specifically to our situation. If we are struggling with our finances, we read about God’s provision and about testing Him with our tithe. If we are trying to overcome doubt, we read about faith. When we are in the grip of sexual sin or addiction, we read about purity.

This is a wonderful practice and one I would encourage you to continue in. However, much of my revelation in certain areas of life has come from passages that seem a little more obscure or unrelated.

My greatest lessons about spiritual warfare were learned not by studying how Jesus and the disciples cast out demons, but by reading about Jesus’ temptation in the desert.

I overcame unforgiveness when i began to take seriously the Biblical mandate to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me.

I found healing in the midst of my husband’s addiction by meditating on finding shelter under the wings of the Almighty.

Holy Spirit is not bound by our understanding. He knows not only what you are dealing with but why. He understands what you need to break free. He can and will bring revelation in unexpected ways and times. Just because you have not found the answer you seek in the Word yet does not mean it is not there. The Bible needs to be taken in its fullness. It is all relevant. Every word speaks truth that has the potential and power to transform. Do not give up on the pursuit of truth.

This weekend, take some time to seek Holy Spirit’s direction as you study. Ask Him where to look for guidance and revelation. Follow His lead. If you are someone who follows a reading plan, I encourage you to continue in that, but also to take a little extra time to ask if there is something you need to read.

Your answer is on the way. The Word always accomplishes the purpose of God.

photo credit: Chiara Centanni via photopin cc