Less Talk, More Walk

Yesterday I wrote about the spirit of competition in the Body of Christ which is, at least to some extent, responsible for the damage that has been done to the hearts, minds and spirits of many dreamers and visionaries. It is this very spirit that causes us to question our worth, minimize our value and forsake our dreams. Comparing ourselves to others or being held to a standard set by man rather than God is poison. It erodes our self image and destroys our potential. It robs us of our very identity as children of God and co-laborers with Christ.

So then what? I could write all day about this toxin we have allowed to run through the veins of the church unchecked and untreated. I could rebuke Christians every where for refusing to take a stand and making the problem worse. I could go on and on about what we should not be doing. It wouldn’t change a thing.

I am not the first person to notice the pandemic of comparison and competition in the Body. Anyone who has ever been judged, criticized or demeaned for trying to walk in what they are called to already knows the problem exists. The question is not about what we should not be doing; it is about how to become the church we were created to be.

I don’t have all the answers. If I did, I would not struggle with this issue myself. All I have to offer is what I believe God has revealed to me about how to stifle competition in my heart, my family, my social circle and my church.

1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Profound, right? I know you have heard this before, but I am not talking about the comparison in your mind. I am talking about taking very real steps in a very real way. Does Facebook make you feel less successful than your friends? Does everyone else seem happier or more fulfilled? Does relentlessly browsing through pictures and comments leave you feeling discontent and unhappy with what you have, what you do, or even who you are? Then, STOP IT. It may not be Facebook. It might be TV or movies, magazines, books or unhealthy relationships. Rid your life of the source of your comparison until you are built up in your worth enough to know that those things do not dictate your value.
2. Plug into a supportive community. Believe it or not, most Christians are loving, generous, encouraging people who want to see you succeed and prosper. Seek them out. Refuse to settle for friendships that leave you feeling empty and worthless. We are called to build one another up and be a life giving source of edification and support. You might have to look long and hard to find this kind of community. Take it from someone who spent far too much time isolated and far too many years trying to earn approval from people who were never going to give it anyway. Put in the time and the effort, because it is infinitely worth it.
3. Cheer others on. Even if, in the beginning, you are consumed with insecurity and jealousy. In the same way as we are to overcome evil with good and pray for those who persecute us, there is power in supporting those we believe are better than us. Eventually, your heart will change. Selfishness will give way to a desire for unity. Rather than being envious of the gifts and opportunities someone else has been given, you will come to appreciate and even celebrate them. Constantly looking inward will only make your bitterness and jealousy fester. Focus on the beauty all around you and soon you will find yourself part of it.
4. Stand on the uncompromising, life changing Word of God. You are who He says you are. Period.
5. Pray, pray, pray. This should be a given. Pray for those who have hurt or rejected you. Pray for those you are jealous of. Pray for God to change your heart. And pray for opportunity and purpose in your life. Yes, it is okay to ask for that!

Talking about the problem is not going to make it go away. Suffocate the life out of competition by taking a stand for unity.

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I Used to Be a Hater

I used to hate the church. Not just the way other people dislike the church. I REALLY used to hate it. I was so offended and so hurt by the people in that place that for eight years, I refused to even walk through the doors. Then, once I did, it happened again and, as a new believer, I found myself so bitter and angry toward what I thought was supposed to be the body of Christ that I ran as far as I could for another year.

Denomination made no difference. What they claimed to believe was irrelevant. They may have appeared on the surface of things to be completely wonderful, accepting, loving people. I knew better. The church was full of hypocrites and critics. Their only motivation to get to know me was to possess the ammunition to tear me down.

I would listen to Christians talk about how, as the Body, we were called to stick together. To build one another up. To grow in love and unity. To be His hands and feet. They said those words with their mouth, but with their actions they told me time and time again that I just did not quite make the cut.

I was broken and struggling, but I still longed for relationship with other believers. I longed for a connection with someone who understood the most important priority in my life and would spur me toward wholehearted pursuit of the things of God. Rejection had driven me away and yet I knew God had created me for community.

Over time, God healed and I was able to walk back into the church again. Little by little, He restored my heart and tore down my carefully constructed defenses. I still lacked close friendships but I was able to connect on some level.

It took years of trusting Him and opening myself up to the possibility of further rejection and condemnation, but I am now beginning to build real friendships with people who accept me for who I am and yet encourage me to grow into who I am destined to become.

I thought transparency would expose my weakness and make me easy prey. Instead, by trusting people with the truth of who I am, I am becoming stronger and closer to God.

Iron really does sharpen iron. All those years of trying to struggle through on my own proved fruitless because I was never meant to go it alone.

Have you been hurt by the church? Do you believe you can live the life God is calling you to on your own? Do you resist true transparency in relationship? Without a choice to be one in heart and mind with the rest of the Body, we will never see God move the way we desire Him to.

It will be difficult, but I encourage you today to allow Holy Spirit to begin to take down your walls.

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Unity is Hard Work

 

I am uncomfortable with unity. Not the concept of unity. That, I love. I love the idea of people living in love and harmony, the way we were meant to live. Of sacrificing what we have to meet the needs of someone else. Of putting our own personal wants and needs on the back burner in order to make someone else more of a priority. Of supporting and helping others to achieve their hopes, dreams and goals to become who God is calling them to be. Just don’t ask me to practice it.

Like so many other things in the Christian life, unity is a principle easier talked about than lived out. What God intended to be a lifestyle we have made an event. We are unified at Christmas. We are able to get every church in town to participate in a city wide Easter service. We all pull together in times of crisis. But week by week, we foster a competitive attitude. Not just as a church, but individually, we fear that complete unity of heart, mind and life would cause us to lose a part of ourselves. We value our individuality more than our identity as one part of a universal body. Then we wonder why our churches are so full of back-biting, jealousy and striving. Are you thinking right now that this doesn’t apply to you? Then ask yourself this: Would you stand behind and even promote the talents of someone who does what you do, only better? Are you able to enjoy the gifts and abilities God has given others without coveting their talents, success or attention yourself? Will you attend a conference, concert, seminar, retreat or any other event if it is not hosted by your church or someone you are friends with? Have you ever given something up to bless someone else, even if it hurt? Do you regularly pray for other churches, leaders and ministries in your community? Have you recommended a church that you do not attend to a friend because you believed it would be a good fit for them?

These are the questions that truly make us examine our stance on unity. If you are not able to answer yes to all or even some of them, you are not alone. Somewhere alone the line, we stopped working together to build the Kingdom and made cliques to build our own kingdoms. We have begun to believe that there is only so much blessing, so much anointing, so much ministry, so many souls to save, so much work to be done. In fact, the opposite is true. Now more than ever there is a desperate need for us to pitch in together to see revival come. So much time and energy is focused on making our churches grow and yet they continue to decline. It’s frustrating. I wonder, though, if a shift in our focus would change that. If our desire became the glory of God and the growth and edification of His Kingdom, our churches would be full.

I know this to be true and I still struggle with it because unity is hard work. It is hard to pray for someone I don’t really like. It is hard to give money or possessions to someone I have deemed unworthy. I really have a hard time with pouring time and energy into someone’s life just to have them betray me. But it is a price I must pay if I want lasting fruit to be born in my life and my church. Pursuing peace and unity is always a worthwhile endeavor.